Sugary Sweetness

I am a sap.

I love love.

The Holiday soundtrack may or may not be playing in the background right now.

So when my sister got finished reading Nicholas Sparks’ sure-to-be-sappy bestseller, Dear John, I tried resisting. But it was futile.

Not to mention I had a three hour flight ahead of me, so I rationalized that this would just be a way to pass the time.

Stop looking at me like that.

True to form, midway through the book I found an excerpt that spoke to me – despite the fact that my situation could not be more different than that of the characters in the book. But, like we have all learned, there are certain truths that are universal no matter who you are.

The passage that stood out to me takes place while the main character is on a date with a girl he met at the beach (I know, I know, stay with me here). She has just finished telling him about her parents, who are the perfect examples of love, support and encouragement. The thoughts that follow are from his perspective:

“For a moment, I wondered how different my life would have been had they been my parents, but I shook the thought away. I knew my father had done the best he could, and I had no regrets about the way I’d turned out. Regrets about the journey, maybe, but not the destination. Because however it happened, I’d somehow ended up eating shrimp in a dingy downtown shack with a girl that I already knew I’d never forget.”

Now, remove some of the obligatory mushy-ness and you have a pretty powerful sentiment. We have all found ourselves living in the land of “what if” once or twice (or 8,000 times if you have my overactive imagination). Lately, surprisingly, I have been thinking a lot about my parent’s divorce, which was nearly 10 years ago. I shocked myself with a thought recently that I once only attributed to adolescents or unrealistic whiners. It was the day after Thanksgiving and as I was cleaning my kitchen, I heard the words, “I wish they had never gotten divorced” skirt through my mind.

I nearly dropped the dish towel. Have you ever found yourself thinking a thought you didn’t ever know you thought? This was one of those moments. As I have pondered that in the past few weeks, I realized two things: it is important to address and find a way to articulate those hidden thoughts or regrets, but it can also be dangerous to live in the land of what was or what might have been. It’s a scary place. Nothing good happens. And you can get stuck there. And they don’t have wireless internet. Or Starbucks.

So when I stumbled across this passage in my mindless airplane paperback, I dog eared the corner. Although I’m not entirely certain I agree with him. I think there is joy in the journey. There is pain and confusion also, but still there is joy. I would argue that the journey is a way of redeeming yourself from the difficult things that happen in life. How you trudge forward and make changes despite the setbacks is a great contributor to and reflection of your character. In addition to the journey, however, you are also faced with your current destination. And wherever you are right now is, to put it simply, exactly where you are. Live in it. Wait in it. Breathe new life into it. Because how you deal with today will play a significant role in what tomorrow looks like.

Please note: I blame the increase in sappiness on the holiday season.